well, what does bruno think?

so before i turn it over to bruno, i was watching the dual survival guys again and to re-enact 'what might have happened when 2 hunters fell down a ravine,' one of the idiots is self-inflicting a laceration on his arm so that they can show the process of cauterization. so he's cutting a large gash in his arm, then putting gunpowder in the wound and then lighting the powder to burn and deaden the capillaries so it will stop bleeding. so, now you know. if you're bleeding...just go to the ER.

oh, and i got my canner today and i made strawberry jam! now i have to wait and see if i actually did it correctly-12-24 hours. i already heard one ping, so hopefully that's a good sign! i absolutely love mom's homemade jam! ok, here he is:

hi! i'm bruno. i asked if i could write sometime on the log. and mama said a log i something i should pee on not write on and then she said this was a BLOG. i don't know what that means exactly. but she said: be my guest. that's my favorite part of the musical with the pretty girl and the big man-dog. when the dishes are singing. mama's dishes sing to me. sometimes when they're sitting there with food on them, they beckon me over and sing, "eat from me! partake in this deliciosity!" and i do and mama never believes me, i get in trouble, but it's real...it really happens like that.


at first mama wasn't sure i'd be very good at this-something about rabbit trails. i've never been on a rabbit trail, but i'll bet it's pretty. i tried to eat some bunny trails ice cream-but it stuck on my whiskers and i got in trouble. mama tried to read watership down to me (it's a book about rabbits and their tunnels..chaco likes tunnels), but i asked her to read velveteen rabbit or peter cottontail or guess how much i love you with those two hares competing. at first i imagined hairs competing and i thought that was crazy..hair cannot hop up high. hair can't even talk and hair cannot go to the moon! didn't a monkey go to the moon or something? i don't like monkeys. they have hairy hands. i saw a picture mama started a long time ago but she never finished it, and the monkey is scary. if i better hands, i could do so much more! but i do pretty good for myself, all things considered.

when mama hurt her finger the other night, i was so scared! so now, i follow her around whenever she goes into the kitchen..or the bathroom..or her room..or anywhere..mostly because i really care about her-ok, not really, mostly because i'm hoping she'll think i'm super loyal and give me treats!! 

today she left for forever and when she came home, we saw her from the window and i started barking like a crazy dog (i'm pretty sure she thinks it's chaco-i always make sure to point at him and roll my eyes when mama walks in). today when she was in the kitchen, chaco started barking like a girl at someone outside and mama said, "that's enough, we don't do that!" he looked at her and said, " you don't because you CAN'T-you're not a dog! but i'll bet if you were a dog, you sure would!"  and then we went to sleep again. that's all i got! oh, and i'm pooping outside a lot more. 


don't bark, be loyal and poop outside,
bruno

kill 'em with kindness is not self defense...but throwing masa could be

today i decided that i would take my dogs on an early morning walk while it was cool outside. they were much appreciative. we enjoyed the breeze, bruno pooped and life was good. (model citizen that i am, i bagged to toss). on the way back around, we stopped by the mail box, and i had a full box. that's what started my grocery shopping spree.

when i got back to the apt, i looked at the ads, normally i throw them away. and i noticed that albertsons had some great deals on meat, so first i stopped by aldi (love aldi for saving me money!) then i decided i'd grab a sandwich at the drivethru next door-subway...and it wasn't until i got into the drive (no turn arounds or back ups...) and that's when i realized that it was actually a starbucks drive-thru (which was on the opposite side of the stinkin' block of shops). so i got up to the speaker and said "oh, i'm sorry, i thought this was a subway drive thru." no was the answer, but i still had to wait for the idiot in front of me who was flirting with the girl at the window.

finally i got out and went straight to albertsons and i was on a mission. they had deals, deals, deals- so i ended up getting $96 worth of meat (pork, beef, steak, chicken) for $37!! oo-OOH! (double deuces, hands in the air like baby mama! pronounce the oo like boo) yep. i'm beginning to like the 'reduced for quick sale' deals-chicken today. so i decided to make some bbq chicken. it's funny because i'm not like a die-hard bbq lovin' person, but it just makes great sandwiches!

i may have also ordered some canning equipment...hopefully that will arrive tomorrow. new adventures!

oh, and i vac sealed the remainder of the masa and i now have an unconventional weapon-it's a masa brick.

you may not be able to tell, but this masa is rock solid! i don't know sir, all i did was throw some masa at him...maybe he shouldn't have tried to enter my apartment! (for the record, no one has tried to get into my apt...i think they know i have masa)

ok, the raisins are finally done!! how did i know? i heard them humming 'i heard it through the grapevine,' and when i lifted the lid to peek in, there they were dancing with their white gloves and sunglasses! so..which ones are store bought and which ones are mine??

hint, i didn't add crap to mine to give it color!

the crazy thing is that they started out green!! i think i'm doing some potatoes next and fruit roll ups. and as far as the canning goes-strawberry jam. yum...my. on homemade bread please.

by the way, i just pulled out the first batch of chicken (small crockpot..i'm single, remember?) , and it pretty much melted in my mouth...if i had a restaurant, this would be on the menu! with red velvet cake balls bites for desert!

alright, closing it down because the boys are getting restless and want me to join them for the game!

may you get as excited as i do when you find great deals!
julie