Christmas break 2015--just keepin' it real

ok, i have been 'home' since sunday, only it isn't really home, it is mom and dad's new place. i try to get over to see my parents as often as possible, because they are special to me (is there really any other reason?). anyhoo. for some reason this time has been more difficult than usual. i love being with them, i love relaxing and having 0 responsibilities...so why so difficult?

i think unwinding is hard. i'd gotten used to the pace, and going, going, going and now not having anywhere to go or anyone to go with is a hard change of pace. but i know it's good to reboot.

i have enjoyed finding a spot to run, regardless of how slow my pace is, at least i'm doing it..i also did a lap around the little neighborhood on the other side of the road with ranger-the dog i named. i'm really growing quite fond of him! he accompanied me from mom and dad's and just kinda took off, staying about 25-50 ft from me. then a huge mastiff came running up behind us and got a little too close to ranger so i ran up to him because ranger is not an alpha, he's a sweetie...and i yelled at the other dog to go home and pointed him home until he obeyed...then the same thing happened a little further up with a boxer, who was a little less friendly, but he ended up listening and leaving as well. so we believe that ranger is a herding dog, and i was going to share a video of him, as proof, but alas, i think there were file-size problems...and now everything is slow, so i can't even upload the pics that i wanted to of just the dog. boo, rural missouri. boo.

so, this is the one i'd take home! smart one, he is!

and this is the park i've been frequenting while here in lebanon. it's cute. it's quaint. it works!

what else has been difficult? well, seeing friends doing things with family and friends and the close bonds and affection. i love it that so many of my friends have such tight-knit families- if i were being 100% honest, i long for that. my family has never been super affectionate; i am more than anyone in my immediate family, and i find that i desire and miss that-that's my HONDURAN side showing through. this is why it's at times like this that i really wish i had a sister. now this is nothing new. i've always wished i had a sister; thankfully i have sheryl and erika, who are like sisters-only sadly they are both thousands of miles away. boo. i miss them greatly and often (and i don't tell them nearly enough). seeing so many friends-classmates and schoolmates back in sps getting together and getting the opportunity to reunite-that's always difficult! (note to self, must set up a skype or hangout with sheryl tomorrow and erika and hellen soon for a coffee date! next best thing!)

i re-read a blog post  from last year that added to the feeling of unsettled-ness...sorry, hopefully this isn't a bummer, there is good to come, hang tight. but the blog post was speaking to the love/hate relationship with Christmas. parts of it resonated with me, and i think the important thing that i need to keep bringing myself back to is that this season is not about me! nothing about Christmas is about me...i need to keep my focus and remember that! i love the last advent service that i went to-it was about joy--not only the joy of the remembrance that our Savior was born, but even a bigger JOY in looking to the future and the fact that he is coming again! that is where i need to focus.

i truly did enjoy the candle-light service and was very proud of my mom, who sang O Holy Night 

and then mom makes bearclaws (a favorite)

and cranberry bread-hard to pass up...

another difficulty is the food. but it's a yummy problem to have...mom loves to cook and bake more than i do, and it's all so delicious, that i have to really monitor myself to ensure that it's all in moderation! yikes.
that 'real struggle' that everyone's been talkin' about...yep...it's real.

so i've been trying to do well, but this isn't quite as good...

and i may be at my wits end with my phone-it has been a little on the lame side the past few days...it may just need a new battery, i may just need a new phone. she's been good to me, but we may have to put her down gently.

so....one of the best things about this break to date was getting a text from one of my good friends this morning-it lifted my spirit, just to hear from a friend--i thrive on these things! it was a simple text, but that's all i needed, because it was thoughtful. she is starting a book that we spoke about over our orlando trip, and i am so excited for her to finish it! my hope is that it will be as good of a tool for her in understanding and meeting others' needs as it has been for me! i first read this book when trish, my mentor and friend, introduced it to me years ago- i remember seeing it on her shelf at the old house--good read! and because she sent that text this morning, it inspired me to want to sit and read over break...only i didn't bring some of the reads i wanted to get to-i may need to take another trip into springfield tomorrow to barnes and noble!

alrighty then...this is where i call it a night! blessings!
julie

ah, 23 years? WHAT WAS I THINKING??? part 1

i know, i know, if you follow this blog at all, you may be wondering: ARE YOU BACK? ARE YOU ALIVE? WAS IT ALL YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE?

well, let's start with are you back-that one is the easy. yes, i am back from HONDURAS. the second question...well, it seems pretty obvious that indeed, i am alive. and as for the third question, i don't know that i had any huge expectations, therefore it was MORE than i hoped it would be. 

i think i will post this in a mini series so that it is not completely overwhelming. i had hoped to write some posts while i was away, but alas, the recharging cord that i specifically set aside to bring with me on the trip for my tablet is probably still setting aside in my apartment. boo. i was rather disappointed at that turn of events, because it handicapped me to using only my phone (not ideal by any stretch of the imagination). sheryl was great about taking me to stop in at every electronics place that we could think of, but sadly, surface tablets aren't a big market in sps. 

the trip was a bit long, as i left from springfield; when i got to miami, everything looked great right up to flight time, when it started to storm and lightning. grr. the worst part was being right there, knowing that i have several friends in the miami area from sps who i would have LOVED to see...in fact, when i posted something about that, karla, one of my friends said that she was at the airport! she was actually in a plane on the tarmac, waiting to deplane, but they were waiting for a space-bummer! how devastating would it have been if she had deplaned in the same gate where i was waiting to board (with the glass there separating us, it would have been like a sitcom or something). 

so, eventually the lightning strikes subsided and we were able to depart, placing us in sps about a little over an hour later than the original schedule; sheryl was there with the kids and it was SO good to finally meet them!

 the last time i left sps, i had to walk outside to the tarmac, and the whole customs thing was a bit messier coming in. it was at that point that i began to realize that yes, indeed, San Pedro Sula had gone and grown all up without me! and of course, as we went on a night tour of the town, it was very apparent that SO much had changed! but then, what do you expect after 23 years?! it was so late that one of the few places that was open to eat was denny's, and that was perfect by me, because once again, it was an opportunity to laugh and begin on the catching up!

the next morning, we got up, and yolanda, sheryl's maid had cooked the most amazing plato tipico-i was in heaven! she really can cook! and i was dying for some platano maduro, eggs, beans with crema, salchicha...coffee-blessed coffee! yes, in short (or maybe i am being long-winded...deal wit it), it was as typical as i ever remembered it! thank you, sheryl, for thinking of the best way to start off a welcome home vacation!

and then we were off to la ceiba, one of the thriving coastal cities-the drive was surprisingly smooth and the road was in great shape (which cannot be said of all roads in HONDURAS!) the scenery was soothing to my soul. there is nothing more beautiful than the honduran mountainside. the various shades of green from the abundant varieties of flora are impressive, and seeing some of those trees against the backdrop of the gray-blue sky was pure artistry! my favorite part of the trip to la ceiba was learning about the connection between red clay and pepto bismol-long story, but a good one!

home

sweet home

once we arrived, we were greeted by her aunt, who is one of the most hospitable ladies i have met (it must run in the family!) and she really did make us feel at home! we were only in la ceiba for one evening before we took the ferry out to roatan, but it certainly seemed like much longer, because we got to see sheryl's cousin and her husband, and a couple of friends from our EIS  days (hector, carolina and jo ann) for dinner that evening, which was delicious and just plain fun. not to mention, they paid for our meal, which was completely unexpected! the only problem was: IT WASN'T LONG ENOUGH!

friends and family in la ceiba

another classmate was celebrating her bday in sps, so we were celebrating from afar

cheers!

the next morning, we were up early and off to the ferry. perhaps it might've been better to sit out in the open air, but we opted for the ac on the lower deck. unfortunately it was rather choppy and that causes motion sickness. fortunately we were prepared for the worst and then things got a little better. but when all is said and done, a "rough day at sea" is exhausting! so once our taxi driver got us to our destination: Splash Inn Dive Resort, West End, Roatan, the check in was painless, and came with a little complimentary fruit juice (which was refreshing), but for real, i think the only thing on the immediate agenda was to take a nap!

like i said...rough day at sea...

swan, you're cute and all, but you must move so i can take a nap!

Splash Inn Dive Resort is a comfortable little motel with clean rooms and bathroom. the staff was very friendly and helpful. we didn't do any diving, but the outfit had a little diving training and equipment available for rent, and they also had a restaurant in front. i need to go to their website and write a review. it was perfectly situated in the middle of everything. 

the view from our little in-spectacular #postcardsfromroatan

once we got up from our naps, we went to a restaurant on one of the piers, and of course, ordered seafood-how do you order anything else when you are on an island?? even if you're allergic, c'mon! live a little! (or die a little?) what's a little swelling and difficulty breathing?? then we did a quick little scouting of the area so we'd have an idea of what was going on. and down the way, toward the end of the yellow brick road...or the grayish cement road, as it were...there was an area called el boske, which was rather intriguing, so we went in to check it out. it seemed to be a happening little area, with a variety of food vendors to choose from and a dance club at the top of a very steep hill-nothing like being completely winded before you get out on the dance floor! maybe that is the prerequisite test: must be able to make it to top of hill without passing out to enter.

after that, it was back to the inn to be ready for day 3.

more to come,

julie

i pushed the button-it's for REAL! now i'll probably have strange dreams about that as well!

well. i did it. boys and girls, it's done!

not gonna' lie, it was a little nerve-racking (i looked it up, and it is interchangeable with nerve-wracking...but the first spelling was without the /w/, so i thought it would be most correct to use the /r/...not that anyone really cares)... but i pushed enter, and there's no going back! NOT THAT I'D WANT TO! but the truth is when it comes to booking flights or making decisions that far out, once you push the button, it's final!

i'm going home this summer!

it won't feel real until the plane lands.

 so, it's been over 20 years since i've been back, and i'm excited to see all of the changes.but even more than that, i'm excited to see some dear friends in person. talk about priceless...it's one thing to send letters, and to see peoples' status updates on facebook, but it's something completely different to laugh with friends or sit and chat over coffee. i feel as though i've been somewhat neglectful of the one place that i spent the most years of my life-those formative years; i am hoping to change that. i'm pretty sure i'm going to smile from now until june 30, then i'll just be ecstatica!

so that's exciting!

i may or may not have mentioned that i bought a mini digital recorder so that i wouldn't forget things-well, i keep it by my bed so i can record important information (and not-so-important information)...i've been able to capture a few dreams.

 so i thought i'd share a couple of them with you because they were comical in my mind-hopefully it will translate that way when i type it out.

the first one had to do with my brother driving the maroon car (my car-which wasn't even the same color of my real car) too quickly around the exit loop and we went into the ditch-a ditch that was steep and shaped like a 'v' just big enough for the car to fit in wedged with the nose down, trunk up...fortunately i willed it to go in slow motion so that there were no scratches and dents (i guess i didn't want to have to deal with the insurance agents in my dream)...so my dad and i got out and pushed it out-i mean we actually lifted it out; and it was really quite light-fiberglass i'm sure. "lift with your knees!" anyhoo, we got it out, then realized that it took so long that we were not going to be able to stop in branson for lunch. devastating. and i woke up about then and the first thing i said into the recorder was that i didn't need crossfit because i could lift a freakin' car out of a ditch! (so i guess that confirms it, i will not be getting a crossfit membership in my dreams).

then there was the dream where a bunch of colleagues were sitting around in a room-some kind of meeting. the lady leading this meeting was a dynamic leader (she reminded me a little of my 3rd grade teacher Mrs. VanHorn), and i secretly wanted to be her best friend because there was some kind of 'coolness factor' about her. even after i got called out for not knowing when we were supposed to pick up our giant hair bows for the dance. (what dance, you ask..i'm not really sure...all i know is that i DIDN'T know when to pick up the hair bows-and they weren't a joke, the hair bows were a big deal-apparently). so upon not being able to answer, this lady jumped up and said, "let me help you out with that!" and she burst into a song and dance set to the original wonder woman theme song (i'm not even making this up) the only thing is that she had changed the wording, and from the song, i got that we were supposed to pick them up at horizon....which in my book wasn't a time, so i pieced it all together (we call that inferring) anyhoo, i used my knowledge from fiddler on the roof- sunrise/sunset- to determine that surely she meant we were to pick up the bows at sunset.

and last but not least, last night i was out at an estate in the country hills. when i walked in, i was confronted by the director of the special event. he gave me a paper with 3 words on it and the treble and bass clefs, but no notes. he said-you'll be harmonizing with the duet. (i think this disheveled man may have been drunk...harmonizing with a duet would make it a trio...) anyhoo, i looked at the paper and i had no idea what he wanted me to do because there were no notes on the paper, so for the remainder of the dream, i had this anxiety about this event. before the singing was to take place, a bunch of people went outside, including myself. when i got out there, i don't know exactly what everyone was doing, there was a tense feeling, and right about the time i decided to hang out, someone yelled, "CANNONBALLS!" and there was no swimming pool, so i looked up and there were actually softball sized iron cannonballs flying through the air toward us! everyone started running and scattering, so i grabbed my brother's arm (he was in this dream as well), so we dodged cannonballs, heading toward the house, when i saw some sort of aircraft dive bomb/ kamikaze into the estate, so i pulled him in the opposite direction and we jumped down a rock embankment because another aircraft was coming toward us. i was sure that we were safe between these boulders, but no. the aircraft found us and crashed within feet of us. then out of no where, a man with a mustache showed up and gave a demonstration of how these "amazing aircraft" work...they were made of plastic tubes similar to oversized tennis tubes...and thank goodness, that's about when i woke up and i never had to sing in the duo-trio that i didn't even know the notes to.

weird, huh? the dreams actually started when i started sleeping well again-when i got the noise machine. as strange as they are, i LOVE having interesting dreams-it's almost like reading a book in my sleep. (only not really).

ok. enough strangeness for one day-i'm going home this summer!!
julie