Sunday, January 31, 2016

MAP misunderstandings, fat-free friday, and lots of walking

it's sunday-where does the weekend go?

thursday was MAP training (not to be confused with some sort of geographical endeavor, i'm talking about nwea's measures of academic progress), and it went fine-good information about how to really use reports well. it was a good day, as the presenter did a fabulous job! at lunch, i would've loved to join our teachers for lunch, but i didn't want to invite myself. in fact, i mentioned that to ciane as everyone assembled in the foyer, waiting on someone in the bathroom. i'm not usually one to invite myself to things, and when i do, i almost always immediately regret it-perhaps it's a self-confidence thing, perhaps it's just a manners thing...idk. so, unless someone says, "hey, we're going to (fill in the blank), wanna' come?" i won't assume. which turned out for the best, as i had brought something that was actually healthy to eat, and i had a lot to do to prepare for some of the tutoring for the upcoming week.

i will own up to the fact that i wasn't very sociable, but it was due to feeling a little stressed to finish some important work!

then i had to leave early to get back for CAR tutoring. i was so thankful that alicia was feeling better and that denise was able to stay to sub and fill in. #muchappreciative

friday morning, i stopped to get donuts for staff and left them in the front office-for fat-free-friday!

i got a chance to have a heart to heart with amanda, and xochitl stopped in to let me know that she was mad at me for 'separating myself' from the teachers at MAP the day before. i felt terrible, but i explained myself, because i needed her to understand that about me. i am so grateful for her, and her willingness to address conflict and care enough about our friendship to do that.

friday it was so good to be back on campus and to walk rooms in the morning to greet teachers and students! i need to do this more often. presence is everything! then i was able to get a few hours of uninterrupted time before meeting with some teachers. when the end of the day came, i was able to pack up, and just as the bell rang, the fire alarm also went off, so i grabbed a radio and communicated with our office manager. she said smoke in one of the rooms, so on the way to check hallways and verify that people were out, i stopped by that classroom, and saw nothing. after reporting that back, i was out the door to make sure that all were accounted for, and back to the front for further instructions.
trust me, i was paying close attention, looking for some hot firemen...
once the firemen showed up, and cleared us to go back in after dismissal, i was off to social house to meet with one of my coach friends from a nearby campus-we share a lot in common, and it was really great conversation. oh, and BEST FRIED PICKLES EVER! hands down.
thanks kendi, we must do this more often and drag lancaster along!
bathroom, ladies?
so i got home and pretty much went to bed early-i was exhausted!! well-deserved rest!

saturday i spent most of my day on the balcony reading and working through a book that is a life-changer! a little later, i had to get out because there were some things that i needed to purchase. i tried Christian Family Books, but they didn't have exactly what i needed. so i made my way out to mardels-but i may have overshot and missed it on the first pass, so i had to go up to the next exit and make a second pass! found what i was looking for!! plus i found a couple of puzzles- #myparentschild and i succumbed to the desires of my taste buds by stopping at steak and shake...and indulged in the frisco melt meal (the frisco melt is my weakness). so when i got home, i went for a walk, because Lord knows i needed it! i'd missed out on a few days. the app stopped halfway through my walk, and i was a little sad, because i wanted to see how far this route actually was. regardless, it was good. i think the app stopped somewhere around here, when i stopped to pose on the construction machinery...
because that's what you're supposed to do, right? i felt like such a high-schooler doing something i wasn't supposed to be diong!
and this morning, i had a breakfast date with one of my favorite former principals-as always, good for the soul. we went to cindi's because last time there was an issue with their gas-main. thankfully today, i was able to enjoy my first visit-and it did not disappoint!
great way to start the morning!
joanne came bearing gifts-fruit and reading material!
when i got back, i went for a walk again, removed and re-uploaded the app, and it worked like a charm! i'd decided to take a new route, but i wanted to make sure it was a little bit of a challenge, so i found a route around addison, to go up and over the bridge, and back to add some distance-it was a beautiful day!! i'd like to apologize to all of the drivers out there for wearing shorts today. i feel a little badly that everyone had to shield their eyes and put on sunglasses for the reflection of the sun cast off these white legs! #whitegirlproblems long walk, it was good.


love the addison bridge!
when i got home, i had plenty to do.

and guess what...i STILL have plenty to do.

i mean...finishing everything is simply overrated. what would i have to do tomorrow night if i finished everything tonight?

good night!
julie

Thursday, January 28, 2016

all about spring break (and any other possible break) because life needs breaks!

another off-campus teacher observation done! 2 down, 8 more to go...sigh. the never-ending-story was better as a children's movie than in real life.

but then the fun continued and i got to do some curriculum pacing guides with some of my favorite coaches-half and half sarcastic...i really DO like the other coaches, they get me-we share a common bondage. 

i did get two especially awesome txt msgs today-the first from aly-one of my adventurous, oklahoma/texas, fun, kamp friends who currently lives in the dfw area. hoping we can get together a little more frequently-one of the things i would love to do with her is going to the climbing silo..i should try to get to some of her volleyball team games too-she coaches a club team, and that's what we're trying to schedule against, because it is prime time for them. but it was good to hear back from her and see what her schedule is looking like. for living as close as we do, we don't get together nearly enough!

the other txt was from one of my friends who put an offer on a house!! taking the big leap! woohoo!! i can't wait to hear more about it! i am so excited for her!! if she can get the neighbors to move out, i'd buy the house next to her and we could dig an underground tunnel for emergencies...and to hide stashes of...well, nothing really...i just think it'd be fun to have a tunnel. for real though, i am super excited for her! can't wait to hear the final verdict!

one more day off campus. i really do not enjoy being off campus this much-4/5 days is not ideal. friday i will be back on campus, and i will have my work cut out form me-so much catching up to do that i just haven't been able to catch up on. and that gives me an anxious feeling in the back of my mind, knowing that i am not getting the things done that need to be gotten done. it's hard to be effective this way.
(continued 1/28)
map training was actually very good, and it will be useful-especially going into next year if we leverage it correctly and really use it the way it should be used...a great tool for rti.

tomorrow i need to lock myself in my office and finish my curriculum pacing guides-ugh. but i also need to meet with 3 teachers during their plannings-never a dull moment. i'm sure it will all get done.

 i think i may need a personal day soon-i don't know if i will be able to go 'til spring break! how ready am i for spring break, you ask? well...considering that i am going to see another one of my bffs (haha) i should just call it my posse, or gang or something...another branch of my entourage-smile. but seriously, one of my many favorite things about shea is this:
i always feel really special when i get a call or when i actually call-which i don't do nearly enough-
when we first got to know each other at a retreat, this is how she put her contact info in my phone, and at first i had the hardest time trying to locate shea in my contacts...but i've gotten used to looking up God first (others second, i'm third #shoutoutk2 ). and it still makes me chuckle every stinkin' time! so there's that, and to be very clear, about being ready for spring break please refer to the pic below.
my hammock has been sitting in the ready position for a few weeks now. 
today was beautiful. thank you, dallas, for the smell of freshly cut grass at the end of january! what a delightful smell! it was a windows down kind of a day! again, thank you, dallas. you may curse me with allergies, but at least you gave me a summer smell today! #summerscomin #butnotsoonenough

alrighty then...let's wrap it up and call it a night, i am between reading and writing letters, we'll see which one wins out!

julie

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

today wasn't as easy as it was supposed to be-truth is hard

today was supposed to be an easy day. go to rogers, observe with teachers, and  go through the protocols...easy, right?

well. i have a huge headache-still. i think it's from crying, and thinking-processing on the spot. TWICE (2X). both conversations were closely related, and neither of them were easy, in fact they were uncomfortable. it's always interesting to me the correlation of comfort level to importance and necessity of resolution. i've never thought of myself as super sensitive, but apparently i am about things that are important to me.

without going into specifics, i will say that instructional coaching is a tough position- your biggest strength can be your biggest weakness, and often is...at least for me. i build strong relationships. i've been at cabell since 2007, and i have some long-standing friendships and this year i have been fortunate to add new friendships. this is great until it's not. figuring out the lines of personal and professional...i need a set of lenses that makes the lines less blurry. during our conversation, when one of my pl coaches said, "julie, i worry for you." that was a red flag. *cue tears.

truth is hard. truth hurts. truth is good. truth is necessary.

to be refined and get the impurities out, fire is necessary. this applies not only to my professional life, but to life in general. my friends who choose to speak the hard truths into my life are the ones i value the most. God's instruments to help refine me. i read this from a devotional, and today it wasn't about my walk with God, but the same principal-applied to work. i am thankful for kristen, vanessa and andrea-

He is a refiner's fire, and that makes all the difference. A refiner's fire does not destroy indiscriminately like a forest fire. A refiner's fire does not consume completely like the fire of an incinerator. A refiner's fire refines. It purifies. It melts down the bar of silver or gold, separates out the impurities that ruin its value, burns them up, and leaves the silver and gold intact. He is like a refiner's fire.
It does say FIRE. And therefore purity and holiness will always be a dreadful thing. There will always be a proper "fear and trembling" in the process of becoming pure. We learn it from the time we are little children: never play with fire! And it's a good lesson! Therefore, Christianity is never a play thing. And the passion for purity is never flippant. He is like fire and fire is serious. You don't fool around with it.
But it does say, he is like a REFINER'S fire. And therefore this is not merely a word of warning, but a tremendous word of hope. The furnace of affliction in the family of God is always for refinement, never for destruction.
so, yes, today was not as easy as i was hoping it would be. and then i had to follow it up with an after school pd-which went fine, but i was not all that convincing. i'm pretty sure our CAR rep thinks i'm an idiot, but that's alright, i'd think so too. i hate following an agenda that i didn't create. and to go with that, the crowd was not very responsive #itwaslikepullingteeth 

but i got through it. tomorrow i am off campus again-sigh. and the next day. friday. friday i will be on campus. 

yesterday was sweet. (literally), i came back to campus for a debrief from our amazing central pl team, and it was great feedback. and our team had gotten nothing bundt cake cupcakes! late bday celebration! that was thoughtful-they know me well! smiles. and when i finally got back into my room, i had fun surprises on my desk! 
jeri found this perfect little box- which i think i have the perfect place for (that will help me hide some clutter! :) )

and solange knows my love of notebooks-i love the hard covers that she finds, and this one is from korea (although, i have yet to see a korean with a handlebar mustache! interesting!)
that was thoughtful! 

tonight i called my mom--i interrupted a church meeting that she was in...oops. and i asked her to help me out with one of the challenges that we put forth the other night of asking our mom to describe us in one page, how they would describe us to a friend or co-worker (i talked a little about this here). it's funny how we see ourselves, and how others see us. sometimes it's difficult to take in, but i think it will be a good practice! 

not gonna' lie, i am drained--the conversations that i had today really did exhaust me. going to bed early.not ready for tomorrow. 

good night-don't be afraid of the fire. 
julie

Sunday, January 24, 2016

playing with knives, birthday love and naked mannequins

is it just me, or...i should know the answer almost every time when i begin that way...so i play with knives. sorry.not.sorry...i am that crazy person that sees the knife thrower in the circus murder-mystery (murder she wrote), and decides that i need to learn how to throw knives, and this desire is once again rekindled when i watch the bodyguard, because that would be such a powerful ability!! but this was a legit accident. i was down to one chew treat, so i had to split it for the boys, because i would NEVER hear the end of it if i didn't...well, while i was forcefully trying to cut this rawhide treat in half, the knife slipped and cut a chunk out of my finger...and today, a pen slipped while i was signing a debit receipt and somehow managed to drive into that hole in my finger! AH! OUCH! but i didn't cry-we all good.
i know, you can barely even see the gash, and you're probably thinking: what a baby...but i seriously went through three bandaids before i was able to put one on without it bleeding through.

fast fwd the knife incident happened last weekend.

during the week, i had a meeting off campus for personalized learning. it went well-i really like the group of coaches, and i appreciate everything that kristen and vanessa do for us and the planning they put into our meetings!
#favorites
this weekend was my bday. friday i was greeted in the morning with a cupcake and birthday cake-flavored bubble gum from the 5th grade team (maite's daughter picked it out-so sweet!) it was a pretty busy day, with modeling and meetings, then i had a chance to sit with one of my teachers and look at some video that i had taken for coaching purposes. it is not easy to sit and watch yourself, so i was proud of her. while i was there, she gave me a birthday present, which was so thoughtful-loved everything about it! one of my favorite things in this assortment was the book-how full is your bucket...it reminds me of tim hise, our principal from a few years back- he was a firm believer in this philosophy, and he was really good at it! i have not read the book, so i am looking forward to it!
love the book,journal, candle (smells are always good)
and this made my day! she is so very thoughtful and she is teaching her students to be as well.
 then, when i got back to my office, there was a little envelope on my desk from the admin team-when i opened it: instant smile! dunn bros coffee! i'm pretty sure andrea organized it, because she knows me that way! if you recall, i do enjoy me some dunn bros and have stories that are related-here and here!
more live music, more coffee, more scrabble...or coloring, or writing
 oh, so back to while i was doing what coaches do, nafia said she and nicolette were going to dinner, and would i join them to enjoy a birthday dinner. so later that evening, i drove down to mckinley, and parked in the parking garage. i was surprised that there were spots available! then i walked out and around the corner to the restaurant-the same one i'd gone to with natalie, xochitl, lindsey, olivia, and i can't remember if maria was with us that time, or not...a full on wine place. nafia had text and said she was parking and waiting for nicolette, so i went ahead and got a seat, and ordered a drink...then i got another text that it was taking a little longer, because nicolette was at the wrong place; IMMEDIATELY, i looked around for the name of this restaurant, because the menu looked nothing like the one i'd seen on the website and yelp...i stopped the waitress, and apologized profusely because i was most DEFinitely in the wrong place! she was so kind and understanding and gave me a pass, because it was my birthday! smile. and she even told me that the place i was looking for was just up a couple of blocks. the two at the hostess stand asked if anything was wrong, but they understood as well-i was not supposed to be at imax's.

so on my little hike up the street, i was wondering how far up it was and i asked a preppy looking guy where entourage was. he looked at me with a blank look...entourage? why did i say entourage, and why couldn't i think of the name?? EUREKA!!! yes, "do you know where eurkea is?" that he was familiar with and pointed just up and around the corner. so as i was walking i was kicking myself, entourage? really? perhaps it was a subconscious thing-channeling tracy morgan from 30 rock, thinking about my entourage--i mean eureka-reminds me of california gold rush! no worries, and i know everyone was on pins and needles, i did arrive and found them waiting for a table. when we finally got a table, one of them asked for lemon for water or tea-i don't recall, and this was what was delivered...apparently lemons are in short demand, and highly guarded!
you gonna hafta squeeze the crap outta that thing to get all the lemon you need!
 dinner was delicious! i would SO go back!! the conversation was rich, and by the end of the evening, we unintentionally came up with some major challenges-it will be good to see everything unfold, and that's that. oh! and it took me a minute to come up with one for naf, but i have. i need to let them know so that there is accountability.
entourage..eureka..whatevs.
 they drove me back to my car, and i looked at the clock when i got home--i'm not a late night gal anymore...i used to be, but i don't stay up late anymore...so even though it was late, i had a great time.
 and i was SHOCKED that i woke up at 6:30, rolled over and tried to go back to sleep-couldn't, so i got up and made breakfast, and when it was finally late enough, i went shopping. i still had to find a dress, and shoes, and some other stuff, so i drove until i decided where i wanted to go. i finally found a dress, but they had 2 sizes too small, and 2 sizes too big. boo. so i txt b mayes, and asked if she wanted to go shopping that afternoon-as soon as i got a text back, i headed up to norman to hang out with one of my besties! (every time i write that, i snicker a little, because it's not really a term i use...i mean...bff? besties? not terms i grew up with) 
anyhoo, on the way up, i saw a wind-turbine farm just north of ardmore. it was real surprising-i certainly didn't recall seeing them before! had i been oblivious? i sent a pic and asked bmayes, and she said she'd never noticed either. well, once i got closer, they were right there next to the road like giants! very distracting, and all i wanted to do was stare-so yeah, they were new. i just looked it up and the project was completed at the end of 2015.

so i arrived and we got to play for the day! before we started our dreaded shopping trip, we chatted for a bit, then stopped at chic fil-a for the kale salad, which was surprisingly good!! i wasn't expecting it to be! she hates kale, but had tried it on a whim and loved it, so she brought me into the fold! then we set off to find hat i needed, and we were able to find the dress that i couldn't find here. in the process, i wanted to try on two dresses just to make sure. well...the only dress that was the right size of the other make was on a mannequin...so...i may or may not have awkwardly undressed the mannequin-which b got some pics of, and she showed me a video that she took as well. and then the shop girl came over and helped because she saw it wasn't going completely as planned. (apparently i wasn't as smooth as i thought!) after trying them on, my first choice was the best choice. later in the evening, we went to ted's for fajitas, and it was delicious! the bartender wasn't a super social-personable guy, but that's ok, because we weren't talking to him)..but it was perfect, as always, i might add. #tedsfan
good times, right there! if we could eventually live in the same neighborhood...that'd be good. just sayin'...and it'd be really good if it were in fl by a beach..and shea were in that neighborhood too...live the dream?
 i was a little tired driving home, as it'd been a long night before, and an early morning-with no nap! we should have taken naps! my saving grace on the way home was talking to brandy on the way home! we had a good conversation, and i was happy to see this morning that she acted on it! the boys were a less than happy at my arriving home so late!

 so this morning, i woke up with a crazy craving for bacon! i didn't have any in the place to cook up, so i  twisted someone's arm to go out to breakfast- i didn't have to twist very hard, because breakfast (and BACON) is a necessity-even if it's for brunch! we had a good conversation-which at one point went to extrovert/introvert talk, which bmayes and i had talked about a little yesterday. it always helps me to understand people better-today was not a surprise, people fall at different places on the continuum, and while i do fall on the introvert side of the spectrum (for the most part), i am not nearly as far down the spectrum as she is, in fact, it's an adjustment, because i don't know very many people who are that far down the spectrum-learning curb-good to know. you can read a little more about it here. good post.

anyhoo-i got home from brunch, and went for a walk-which was really good! before nicolette took off for her trip, she dropped off some sub/class work to take back to school tomorrow. and she dropped of a birthday present too-which was perfect:
a. stationery-we all know it's a weakness of mine b. this notebook/journal: TODAY SOUNDS BETTER THAN SOMEDAY! this is it. this is exactly right, and this is somewhat our conversation from the other evening. live life..today. 
and this was the other part of the gift-which i LOVE! i have a few pics i actually need to go to office depot and get printed off-update! yes, pictures-friends and family are important to me!
i will end with this last thought. on my way home friday night, as i was thinking about my own challenges, i was reminded of a quote that i have loved since high school, which was a chapter opener in a book-the singer.
what do you want to be when you grow up, little girl?

"alive"

i've always wanted to feel alive. i need to remind myself of those things which make me feel most alive and make them happen on my TODAYS!

may you find what makes you ALIVE, and not wait for someday to do it!
julie

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

my dentist-my tormentor...my secrets will go with me to the grave! no matter how much local anesthetic you use!!

alright, alright, alright! today was a good day because i did not need a root canal! woot! so...i'm pretty sure i haven't shared my dental experiences from this year, yet. back in november i had pain, enter dentist. ew.

so i went to one of the dentists on my list, and he was nice enough-the front desk was lovely. i had to get the x-rays and all of the fun intro stuff before getting the news that i was in the market for some root canal work, crowns, etc, etc, etc. my mouth is the worst! so, um...i was told to come back on another day and when i went in, the dentist began his work, and he was wise-he realized that this was a job for someone much cuter  more talented-the ENDODONTIST. and yes, for the record he was indeed cuter...a lot. my flirting needs some work. i just don't...i mean. when i'm complimenting him on his tennis shoes..umm. no. he proceeds to tell me the entire story about purchasing the new kicks and somewhere within this story enters wife and children-#gameover married men-huge turn off-for all the right reasons!
#sucks. 

ouch.and.yikes.

best part about craig's office-they let me take control of the suction!

while i was there and waiting for the numbing shot to take effect, he went to the guy in the next cubbyhole and was talking to him-the young punk i'd seen in the lobby looking like he was so large and in charge...he seemed a jerk. in fact, the way he was talking, like he was a dentist himself-he apparently didn't trust his dentist, and wanted a second opinion...but then he was arguing with craig-yes, we're on a first name basis-but craig was having none of it. the whole conversation made me snicker inside. i was thinking, 'what a douche.' and he kept going-he was contradicting craig, and finally this endodontist said something that i have never heard a dentist say to a client, "well, i'm done. you aren't listening to me. obviously you just came in to get an opinion-i've told you my opinion and you don't want to listen, so you need to just make up your mind and stop b@#$%ing about it and decide what you're going to do. but i don't have time for this. so you need to go find a dentist that you trust and make some decisions."
woah.
yes.he.did.  the guy was shown to the front desk and i once again had craig all to myself-and his assistant and anyone else nearby. so we continued (i was somewhat surprised that after all of the time that had passed, the numbing agent was still going strong!) i received the sunglasses-interesting choice, but it did safeguard my eyes from the light, and from the water spray. the lady manning the sucker-tool was great at her job-she kept the water from going where it shouldn't. and the conversation for the remaining hour was straight up about the young man who'd been arguing with him for far too long. he was also very complimentary on my dentist for realizing that this job was beyond him in time, before boring into the nerve and messing everything up. wise, he called him. he didn't really seem that wise, in fact he was a little goofy. anyoo, craig gave me his card, and i thought, "you cost a lot, you are a specialized niche, the only way i come back is if my dentist can't handle the truth!" so i then returned to my dentist to finish the temporary crown.

when i got there, i had the asian lady as the assistant to my dentist, and i swear she is a ninja. i sat down and was about to turn around to say something to her, and she had vanished into thin air. then she'd pop up out of nowhere. she was stealthy. but when she sat to do the air/suction thing for the dentist, i decided that ninjas are not the best dental assistants. it was rough. i cannot tell you how many times i felt like i was being waterboarded (not that i have ever been tortured for information), but close. almost drown a couple of times. but God wasn't ready for me to go yet-so. we finished up, she put the temporary crown in, and explained that this wasn't the end. great. so i had to come back on the 27th of december. that was not what i wanted to hear.

what i didn't mention is that while i was there, i heard someone behind me and i SWEAR it sounded just like my friend nafia-another teacher at my school. her mannerisms, intonations, voice, everything about the way she spoke and the expressions that she used-i was CERTAIN that nafia had come to the dentist! in fact, i was tempted to look around that corner and introduce myself and ask this lady if she was related!!! no freakin joke! i mean to tell you it was for REAL her auditory doppleganger (if there is such a thing..if there isn't, there is now!) 

i came back to dallas, early from Christmas break, for this dental excursion, and as i mentioned in a previous blog, it was much too early, and no one else was really around, so i was bored to the hilt-but i went in and ninja was my assistant again...i was very cautious not to say anything, because i've heard about tiger moms...i certainly was about to be in a vulnerable position, so there was no messin' around here. but surprisingly, she must have either taken some sensitivity courses between visits, or on the previous visit she'd been in a bad mood...OR this was her twin sister, who happened to be a more competent asst.-idk...but needless to say, this visit was a bit more pleasant...until she had to force the floss between the tooth and the crown to ensure that the cement was cleared out so i could floss. hurt like a...piece of floss. yep.

then they set me up to return in january and i had another small deal taken care of...and back again today- i was not looking forward to today. possibly another root canal. boo. so this morning i went in expecting the worst. fortunately i was greeted by another lady who took me back and got it all started. while i was sitting there getting a mold made, i looked out the window, 13 minutes after 8, and i saw my goofy dentist pull up and get out of his car-must be good to be the man in charge. anyhoo, we got started with an injection-or two into the gums, and i am pretty sure that i have built up the muscles in my forceps over the past few visits, quite nicely. i don't make much noise, but i tense up quite a bit-hate every moment of the needle. "ok, i'll be back in just a minute, let's get that to set in!" and then i wait...and feel a huge bump where the injected numbing agent is at work. and so i waited-until i couldn't feel a thing. this was a new assistant and thankfully once they got started, he was thrilled to tell me that there were no nerve endings in the way, and that we'd not need the root canal!! THANK YOU, JESUS!! best news today! so temporary crown-no gum or candy, no flossing around that tooth-but...NO ROOT CANAL!!! and while there was no root canal, i believe that the water-spray was worse than ever! not in my mouth, i was not in dire straits of drowning, no. it was more like they thought they were hurricane harbor attendants. seriously. i needed that swimsuit today...i'm pretty sure my mascara started to run from all of the over-spray. (not even exaggerating). but did i mention i really didn't care because i didn't have to get a root canal? it's true- i go back in a couple of weeks for the permanent crown. good for now.

i got back to school early, and made it to some of the meetings. what i am seeing is that you cannot please all of the people all of the time. and sometimes the best of intentions are not taken in the manner that they were intended. it is difficult to be in a position of trying to do what is best for teachers and at the same time to support admin and help them understand what different people appreciate. some things just need to be mandatory, some things need to be choice, and it is a fine line to figure out which should be which. i think one of the biggest pieces to the puzzle is building strong relationships and using those relationships to really build trust and understanding. i may exhaust myself trying to figure this all out, but it has been a good exercise in discrimination and discernment. we keep moving forward and with every step we grow, and growth is good.

this afternoon i had a long conversation with one of my teachers after our catch up and read pd-i was a little frustrated toward the end of the pd, and i may or may not have expressed to the rep that was with us how i was feeling. it frustrates me when my teachers get the raw end of the deal. i get an agenda sent to me shortly before our meetings, and i think they expect me to go strictly by what they include. coincidentally, my teachers end up not getting the time that they really need to work on their plans for the week. i am not okay with that, and today when i looked at the clock, it frustrated me, so i mentioned it to the rep that was with us. i am not okay with teachers having to spend time outside of this pd session having to do their planning for their after school lessons. they don't get paid extra for that, so i am not willing to set the expectation that they do such. anyhoo... i stayed late and spoke with one of my teachers whom i could tell was frustrated with something that she'd experienced earlier in the day-it was a good conversation- a necessary one, and i think we both were able to share and receive valuable exchange.

imago dei-ut diligam eos- must picture everyone in the image of God- LOVE THEM all.

my work. love it.
OH!! almost forgot-nicolette and i were talking about fat pictures-there was a time about 4 years ago, and i was reminded of it today in a facebook flashback post...i am going to share something that i don't really talk about or share- there was a period that i went through; i think it was around the same time that i had my back problems, and was dealing with the moving of some of my closest friends...
this was rough.
i saw this pop up on my feed today, and i had to show it to nicolette, since we'd talked about it. so this was a rough point. i was missing the community that i'd had. discontentment. after taking the picture four years ago, i saw it, and decided that was not okay, and wow. i needed to make some changes. i believe that i was able to drop about 40 lbs, and then i kept working, and then i'd gain a little and then drop a little. it wasn't until last year-working with jo anne, andrea, carmen, and tony, making a commitment to get to a certain point...then after spending a summer in florida, i made a new goal, and i am almost there---i was hoping to reach it by Christmas, but it's all good, because i am feeling better than i have in a long time, and that's what really matters. i am getting close to my goal, but i may be adjusting my goal and having to extend it even further. i am probably the healthiest that i've been since i can remember.

so a couple of things: the hobbit movies that i purchased- i was planning to watch another marathon yesterday, but unfortunately after the first one, i popped in the net one that i had purchased, and realized that there was a huge chunk that was missing. i was missing the desolation of smaug. boo. i couldn't watch the last one without it. so i need to make another purchase. sigh. so i switched back to dexter-which was fine, because it had been awhile, and i certainly am appreciating the unique flavor that it brings! also in the news, new phone. i'm not thrilled, and it will take a little getting used to, but i will take it one step at a time, get used to it, and use it to the best of its abilities!
g'night!

jules

Monday, January 18, 2016

once you're out...might as well get the most out of your day!

i finished my marathon with return of the king-always a great ending! and i got a text from nicolette, one of my dear friends here in dallas, simply asking if i wanted to go to half price books later. and then another text suggesting a time close to lunch, so that we could grab lunch. then it was pushed back a bit, and yet another suggestion to drop donations off at goodwill. so, knowing i had plenty of items i wanted to get out of my place, i was scurrying around, trying to get a bunch of it boxed up!

before i knew it, noon had arrived, so i drove over, and transferred my boxes to her car. then we took off for goodwill to drop it all off. after that, we made our way up belt line toward lunch. i am terrible at making the choices for dining...but i hadn't had fajitas in awhile, and it had also been a bit since i'd had steak, thus it was that as we got closer, we ended up at chuy's. because everyone loves chuy's, and she'd never tried it.

after eating the chips, salsa and guacamole, the fajitas were brought out, and i ate half of mine-i always go straight for the hot plate, meat and veggies. nicolette went for the beans and rice first, which was to my benefit, because by the time we were finished, she hadn't eaten much of the fajita portion, and she really doesn't do left-overs, so i pretty much brought home a full plate of fajitas. thanks nicolette! and then we were off to 1/2 price books-no particular plan in mind, except to get over to the children's books and find some books for her students. when i was in the classroom, i spent so much money at half-price books!! most of my mentor books for writing came from this one! unfortunately they did not have the hobbit movies, which upon second thought, i figured it would be better to purchase them new (no sense spending money on something that might skip, or be defective, right? especially if you are ready to watch them in the moment) i also had a couple of food items that i needed to purchase, so we stopped at sprouts, and purchased produce-then took the party to walmart, because there were a couple of items that made more sense to purchase there (including floss for me!)

we took our food-stuffs back to put it away, and then maybe chocolate shakes were calling, and one of the best places to get a good chocolate shake just happens to be twisted root. every time i go over there now, i look at the silos and think about climbing. i haven't yet, because this facility requires at least two, no auto/ self-belays. i'd txtd emmy earlier that morning about setting up some times to go climbing, because i know that's her thing! so once her husband is back from his trip, we may be able to get in a climbing date-perhaps a routine. so when we passed by, i mentioned it again to nicolette, because i love to share the things i love! hopefully the heights thing will be less daunting than imagined. one of the things they do at this wall is train for serious outdoor climbing, and they set up trips-so i have that in the back of my head brewing. but back to twisted root-the shakes-filling and always delicious!
Inside Climbing Gym
climbing orientation inside 
on the way there, nicolette had mentioned that twisted root had a record shop connected to it, or right next door. i'd never noticed. so we walked around the corner to check it out...only there was NOTHING. not.a.thing. she swore up and down and was completely dumbfounded and mystified, because it was there earlier this summer...at that point, there was a need to look them up and find out if she was indeed crazy, or something had happened to the joint. well, i am happy to announce that we will not be having to commit her to a psych ward, dead wax records was indeed a record shop housed next to twisted root since 2014, and they have opted to not renew their lease, and are currently looking for a new spot to set up shop. you can find their page on facebook here.

upon finding that she was not crazy, we were able to move forward. next stop: the mall- time to look for hats for the tea party, unfortunately this is not the time of year for tea party hats. on the way there, i'd brought up the possibility that i could just get a full rabbit outfit and show up as the rabbit, with the clock...and that idea was pretty much shot down with a, "if you did that, no joke, i would pretend i didn't know you-for real." i take the threat seriously, because i will need to have someone there who will talk to me, sooo.... we stopped into a couple of different stores, where it made sense to look, and didn't find what we were looking for...keep looking. i may  have to look to amazon for some help...we stopped at trader joe's-the new one in addison, and it's a tiny box. the only thing i was really interested in finding was the beet hummus-found it, thanks to mel for sharing that it could be found there! as wonderful as it is, some people just can't get past the color-which to me is part of the intrigue!

 if i'd thought it out better, i would have worn appropriate attire-but dressed as i was, we ended up deciding to go check out some places around the area that she'd not seen yet-possible places to run/walk/play. i knew of one up on josey that i see every time i head up to the home depot, and if you remember the gentleman from lowe's who helped me with my plywood, had mentioned a trail nearby. the best part was when i mentioned the park i was familiar with, i asked if she'd played frisbee golf, and her response was unexpected, but a tad bit exciting: she laughed and said that frisbee golf was something that her family does, and she reached around into the back seat and retrieved three discs-LOVE IT!! i'd seen some people playing when i was in mo, but i haven't played since i worked at kanakuk, and we had a frisbee golf day with our volleyball group...only we didn't really play, it was more of a race and a lot of cheating, so i don't even know the rules or exactly what is involved. when it warms up a little, this could be a fun pass-time to partake in every once in awhile; a great boredom buster!

we continued on up and around carrolton where we found the aforementioned trail, and it really was a beautiful area-with a small lake/large pond...i don't know, what really is the difference? how big can a pond be/how small can a lake be before you call it something else?! anyhoo, as we went a bit further north, we passed by my 2nd family's neighborhood and a pang in my heart-i really need to get over to visit with the harmon's more often, because i absolutely adore them, and i have missed them. note: emmy, the gal i mentioned earlier in regards to climbing, is their daughter. funny how i still think of her back as a kamper and counselor...she has grown into an adult-mother and wife, and i am SO PROUD of her! wow, did we ever go through some interesting/fun/hard/entertaining times together!! #thekamplife. we passed by the nature preserve up that way, and about that point, nicolette said, "i want to see the stadium." i looked over at her and said, "the dallas cowboys stadium?" "yep" and so, off we went; as we were making our way south, there was a popeye's off to the left, and nicolette got a little excited and said to keep my eyes open, because if we saw another one, we would stop for biscuits! (good call), so from that moment on, i was pretty much distracted in my search for a popeye's! at this point, i should mention that i am not the best co-pilot...i feel that i have been better in the past, i need to continue to work on this...which means more drives, please...perhaps a road trip here or there-this would help me to hone my skills...just sayin'.

so we got there without much ado- passed the rangers stadium-which is beautiful; baseball season is coming! i think of tim every time i think of baseball, as he is one of the biggest baseball fans i know...um, right up there with heather, my softball-coaching-former roommate who was one of my kamp staples for the longest time! then we got around the building to the att stadium, and it is certainly huge! so check that off the list-now that i think about it, i don't think i'd been out here either since it's been in use. so as we left, i think we came to a highway we hadn't previously been on, and my phone was dying, so i got us back on the interstate, and when we got closer and were going past downtown, none of the buildings looked familiar. hmm..were we going around some back way that i was unfamiliar with? seriously, NONE of it looked familiar. and nicolette was saying, "yeah, none of this looks familiar, you sure?" nope. i didn't see any of the familiar landmarks, and then we saw the tcu and ft worth zoo signs...yep. i need to get to know my stars, and bring the astrolabe next time...had it been daytime, i would've been great because i would've been able to see the sun, and i would have know what direction we were going. night time is like being thrown into a swirling pool of water and not knowing which way is up! no worries, something new to see! we now know where the ft worth zoo is, and saw the tcu campus-in part..and the cutest little pancake house, which must be visited!

so, i was trying to use yelp on my phone to find popeye's, and it gave me an address-which was down the road that nicolette had already chosen, as most popeye's are located in "sketchy parts of town," so i hear. again, phone nearing end of battery life, i retried, and it gave me yet another address...we found the interstate again, and i had seconds to decide which way to go (again, enter astrolabe, star knowledge, or a phone that actually works) "julie, seriously, you have half a second, make a call!" "take this exit!" (which she'd pointed out earlier, i'm pretty sure i say it wrong. i should say take this on-ramp, or get on the interstate here) so we did, and i was hoping beyond hope that i'd made the right decision-nicolette had been so patient up to this point-and fortunately, yes, we were indeed headed in the right direction, AAAANNNND, there was a popeye's sign that caught nicolette's eye, which surprised me that she saw the sign before i did, as she was driving and all-so we exited and when we actually ordered it took forever long! and by forever long, i had time to get out of the car, go in and use the restroom, and get back into the car before we even pulled up to the window! typical. but totally worth it-got our fix-that should last for awhile. and then, of course, we ran into traffic coming back up i35...figures.

so why the play-by-play? because as you know, that's what i do-i love fun days. so..while running errands and driving around may not sound monumental, for me, it was a perfect day! when i have the opportunity to spend time with friends, i will take it every single time, because hanging out normally leads to conversation. conversation almost always leads to interesting stories and better understanding, and this was no exception. nicolette challenges me, and often makes me think about things through a different lens-and she probably doesn't even realize that she does. it's usually nothing major, but it's good for me.  i appreciate the friends i have chosen to surround myself with and those who have chosen to remain in contact, because as i think about each of those in my inner circle, and even my secondary circle, i believe they each play a role in helping develop who i am. relationships help shape us...that's why they are so important. that's why i will drop everything to invest in them when the opportunity arises.

no pics-sorry...i should've gotten some-at the stadium...at popeye's...at tcu...need to work on my pic-game.

hope your long weekend was fabulous-and relaxing!
julie

Saturday, January 16, 2016

lotr marathon; may our adventures not be our own

weekends, ahhh, to sleep in...only sleeping in for this teacher/educator is still early. this morning, from the beginning of my walk to the end, i believe the weather had dropped about 10 degrees, because it certainly was cold! so after some eggs, bacon and coffee (with a paleo creamer-date), i was ready to get some stuff done, only it was later than i thought.

i got over to sports authority and was able to find some shorts and tanks that will serve me well for spring break, but i didn't find a suit that would work for me, so that's still on the to-do list, suggestions welcome. next stop-verizon to check into the possibility of getting a new phone. they are not my current carrier, but i know verizon works at mom and dad's, and pretty much everywhere else. when i mentioned that i had a samsung and was considering an iphone, the two who were standing there were like, WHY?! and we had a quick discussion, during which i was convinced that my original choice, getting the samsung in the first place, was probably a good choice, it's just time to upgrade to a newer model, because it truly does have all of the functionality that i need. but i am going to look where i got my last one, and see if i can retain a similar plan.

sometimes i get caught up in the whole material-thing, and most of my friends have iphones, so why don't i? but ya know what...i need to be a better steward of my money.

another thing that i did not accomplish today was to get my tea party outfit together-and that's just around the corner. this is not something i feel comfortable looking for by myself- i am no fashion expert!! i may head up to oklahoma this upcoming weekend or next and just go shopping up there--maybe i can get bmayes to be my personal fashion consultant for the day! i laugh to think of us shopping for the trappings of a tea-party outfit. smile. it's time to get out of town again-i was hoping to go this weekend, but this was one of two weekends that she was going to be unavailable.

so tonight is a quiet night- it quickly turned into a lord-of-the-rings-marathon night. i will probably be going sometime tomorrow to purchase the hobbit, so that i can continue it over this long weekend...which works out, as i have some other shopping that i intended to do. LOTR is such a comfort movie to me--there is something about fairy tales and the mix of evil vs good, in which the good ultimately wins out even though battles wage and sometimes make us think evil has the upper hand. i know how the story ends. and as tolkien has said, there is a eucatastrophe in every great story- the story of creation and the created...we know the ending. so why is it that the little things get to us? even the things that we consider big in our lives, really? not big.

now i need to go back and read the chronicles of narnia, because that is the other favorite-

when did fairy tales stop being a reality in my life? i want to be fascinated by nature again-i wish to see through the eyes of a child again, because i think i miss the magic around me much of the time! one of my favorite reads during a capstone class about tolkien and lewis was ORTHODOXY by gk chesterton one of my favorite quotes from said article:

G.K. Chesterton

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”


― G.K. ChestertonOrthodoxy
back to the LOTR movie-i am in love with the soundtrack as well, it is as soothing to me as the scenery.
to have the courage and the resilience, to go with a mission-never alone, always with a host of friends to get you through and give you support. to not know what is coming next, but to know what needs to be done. i do things so differently. instead of trusting God and his plan, and following it in blind faith, i make my own plans and pray for God's blessing on them...and most of these plans are based nothing on God's purposes, but focused on my desires. i need to still my soul and do more listening and be more aware of the bigger picture. it's not about me. if i'm going to use the saying, it must resonate with my soul: NOTHING MATTERS BUT GOD. may i  always be reminded, and never forget this.
may you find the right 'fellowship' for your adventures-
julie

Friday, January 15, 2016

dressing up, dressing down, walking and pushing cars

i really should do some shopping this weekend. i have a couple of things coming up that are going to need some attention that cannot currently be found in this little apt of mine.

first up, appropriate attire for a tea party...yes, it's true. don't give me that look (shea, bmayes, trish, ally). you know i do some crazy things for my friends, chalk this up as one of those times-pics to follow, because we're talking serious business...i'm thinking of the little collectors dolls my grandma used to buy for me when i was young... i mean, one thing we all know that i do really well is dress up, although, when i talk about playing dress up, it usually looks more like this:




my best co ever!! and dear friend to date-thanks for dressing up with me in the cabin to entertain the girls!
always easy to dress up with my mentor #mindsetiseverything
lost party-so fun!

at work-airlines a little humor when we needed it most...
 pretty determined that my tea party dress-up will be nothing of the likes of any of these.

(cue ocean waves, seagulls and sunshine!)
i am also going to need to purchase a new bathing suit and some tank tops and shorts -as i am returning to florida for spring break! just booked it-- i am so ready! love it that one of the first things shea asked for was a list of some of those bucket-list items so that we could start checking some things off. this one keeps me on my toes and truly brings out the adventurer and kid in me! #childatheart pretty sure she will literally try anything once!

last night was parent teacher conference, and we were at school until 7:30- our district does not seem to have the most efficient means of setting up conferences. we should take note of how it is done more effectively elsewhere. just a thought. but hey. it's over. so this morning when i went in to update our white board in the office (which not everyone checks consistently, so hopefully they didn't miss it...), i txt admin to see if we could let staff go home right after the last students were taken care of-due to the late night, and it was so. it's the little things. and then we had a meeting at two which ran longer than expected and there i was packing up, still listening, stepping slowly back toward the door, still listening. putting my hand on the door handle, nodding, still listening...i'm not very subtle when i don't intend to be...but i did get the ok to leave and enjoy the friday afternoon. and i don't feel a bit guilty, as i am usually the earliest one on the team in the building, so i take care of the little things that come up early.

it was a gorgeous afternoon, and i really wanted to get home to take a quick walk (i mean quicker than a lord of the rings movie...seriously though, 1.22/5mile..not fast, but it did the job); i wanted to jog today because i thought my leg was feeling better, but it really wasn't-maybe need to get that checked, but not willing to yet, i'm still going to blame it on over-use and not being used to it... it was going great until i reached the shlotzky area, and there was a guy with the driver side door open, pushing his car across beltline...no one stopped to help him, so i ran over (still listening to my music), went to the back of the car and started pushing to help him out. (this seems to be a recurring event in my life...in fact about 3 times in the past two years-whenever i see someone in that situation, i always try to help, because i know that if it were me or someone i cared about, i'd want someone to help...and it's a little embarrassing, so it seems a gracious thing to do to help a body out)...so up the drive and into the shlotzky's parking lot into a car slip-not gonna lie, i was a little winded after that-using the calf muscles and quads more than i expected! great work-out. actually i felt like one of those extreme car sport people:
Image result for car pulling and pushing
what i thought i looked like...
what everyone passing by probably thought i looked like.
whatevs..i got him into the parking lot (headphones still in) and i just waved and walked away, hope he was able to get that taken care of. i felt a little like a jerk once i got out of the target parking lot, thinking i should have made sure he had a phone and could call someone, or how could i help--but i didn't have my card carrier, so i couldn't even offer to help him put gas in his car if that was what he needed-sigh.
                     
once i got home, i was going to take the boys for a walk, but they got super excited and bruno jumped from the arm of the couch and hurt his leg-dummy. anyhoo, he didn't yelp, but he was holding it funny, so i picked him up, stretched it out, moved it-range of motion-and let him kinda' walk it out inside. he makes me nervous when he does stuff like that. i should have taught them not to get on the furniture for their own sake. good grief.

the past week has been a week of being in classrooms to model. i love modeling, because it really allows me to get to know students better, and it allows me to improve my own practice. i especially enjoyed modeling in an experienced teacher's classroom-someone who is great at what she does, but had asked to see a new strategy. i can't wait to see her implement it herself with the other class and see if the kids pick up on it after repeated use. it is one of the strategies that we are doing in 4th and 5th grade and i will show it to 3rd as well so that they can be on the same page. systems are good.

next week is going to be a busy week, tuesday will involve another dentist visit. lucky me. and then more of the same...it's actually going to be a busy week without as much of a chance to be in classrooms until the end of the week (and it's a short week-which ironically usually turn out to seem much longer). boo.

and it's official, i do not want to be a giant. ever.
long weekend-enjoy it!
julie