DON'T MESS WITH MY MELONS! and part 2 of mandolin slicer

this morning when i went out to the garden, i was looking at the canary melon plants and i decided to pull out the clippers thinking, "i'd better cut the weeds around the plant so that when the district grounds crew comes in, they won't cut them down." And sure enough, the district guys came today. i was actually thinking about putting up a little sign: DON'T MESS WITH MY MELONS! but since it's an elementary school, i just wasn't sure how appropriate that might be.

well, this afternoon after they were done, i took a lady out there to show her what we had in the garden currently (as they are wanting to help us create a second garden area). while we were out there, i almost started crying because the 'professional weed-whackers' chopped down our thriving passion fruit vine (WHICH I MIGHT ADD, HAS PAVERS SURROUNDING IT AS IF TO SAY: DON'T CUT ME DOWN, I'M ACTUALLY HERE ON PURPOSE!). i was pissed. i'd almost forgotten about that and right now, i thought about it and my heart is racing again. i mean...maybe i need to go out and stand guard every time they come.

it makes me want to spit. and when i say that, i mean spit a venomous poison that turns one into a statue or something...is that a bad thing? then don't mess with my melons and vines! oh the vitriol-almost as bad as my road rage (i really have to mind my p's and q's when people ride with me, because i don't suffer stupidity from below-average drivers).

on a brighter note...that passed fairly quickly-there is no black cloud over my head (even though i will hunt them down)...ok, for real though. on the way home, i decided to stop at home depot for a little tomato trellis action because they are OOC-out of control~then i went up to get my inspection and when the guy checked me out (not like that...when i had to pay up), he said, "you really got your money's worth on that last sticker-surprised you didn't get pulled over sooner!" he was really surprised when i told him i merely got a warning.

then i stopped up at sprouts to get cabbage and bacon. two obvious staples..c'mon! for real though, i thought that was all i needed-bacon for me, cabbage for coleslaw. i was wrong. when i got home and looked at the recipe for the cabbage salad, i was missing like 5 or 6 items, so around 8 pm, i went out to get those items. and proceeded to make this epic salad.

'why?' you might ask. well, i tried to avoid eye-contact and walk the other day, but she is really good at tracking people down (she might have mohican blood in her). The official-unofficial party organizer accosted me and asked me if i would participate in a birthday celebration for our nurse. i agreed because, well, i'm just a fool like that. she's been trying to get me to make this salad since the first time that i made it..it's the end of the year, and i'd hate to let her down.

don't get me wrong, i understand why she wanted it...it's good. it's REALLY good. in fact, i kinda' wanted to eat a whole bowl of it tonight..and i'm not talking some wimpy little rookie soup bowl..NO-NO. i'm speaking of something bigger...more like a witches cauldron. i wanted to eat until i was so full that an animated cartoon-character-belch was produced, and then i'd stretch my arms way above my head with an exaggerated yawn and fall to sleep for 100 years, like rumplestilskin! ONLY...if that happened, i'd miss my trip to HONDURAS, and that would be tragic! so i wisely chose not to have any. ok, maybe one bite to make sure it was presentable...alright, i scooped out enough for three spoonfuls, and it was magical. 

everything was going so smoothly. until i forgot how sharp the freaking mandolin finger slicer is.

 in case you are wondering how sharp it is, let me remind you here! (not for weak stomachs). anyhoo, you'd think i would remember (my pinky still has a white scar in that entire area). but no worries, for everyone eating tomorrow-i watch enough chopped to know that as soon as i felt the nick, i had to wash it up and put a bandaid on and get out the knife to finish up! the health inspectors would give mean A+. just sayin'...(until they saw chaco stirring and tossing the salad).

and voila, another afternoon of my life-done!

julie!

cabbage and collar makeover

well, this post will make much more sense if you read my previous post about the 'cutest cabbage in the world.' so...i couldn't help it. i defaced faced(?) the cabbage.

i just couldn't help it.the only thing missing is the yarn hair.

another thing that happened this week was the snow and ice. no snow-days, but there was one day when microscopic snowballs were falling, and when i went out to look at them, the sound was so unique and i couldn't help but think about which type of animal could come out and have a snowball fight with these little bitty, ready-made snowballs...maybe a  thailand bumblebee bat? the only problem is that bats don't really have hands, and it might be difficult to throw snowballs with their wings...or legs...

look at these tiny snowballs-they were just plinking down and bouncing- kinda look like they belong on a barbie and ken dollhouse set..

anyhoo, like i said, no days off. but we did get to leave right after school to avoid bad roads-which was great because i had to stop by the post office, and target...and i had to beat the fed ex man to my place, because if not, i would get all the way up to the third floor just to realize that he took my parcel down to the office. no worries, i beat him.

i have been to the post office more in the past month than usual. i may have spent over $50 on cards at target the other day (they always run out of the good cards before i can go back and get them, so i stocked up!).

ok, now for the parcel...i have been wanting to get a yellow 'nervous' collar for chaco ever since my mom post an article on my fb wall (READ IT HERE). so i finally found one on amazon-i had looked previously, but the movement seemed to be more well known in europe, so all of the collars were being sold in euros...well, i found one the other day for dollas! so i purchased it even though it didn't say what size it was (it looked like it was adjustable, so i figured-surely it will adjust to fit chaco). well...

ma, it fits!

 that was with it at it's biggest, so i then tightened it to the smallest possible setting:

i'm pretty sure that the metal rings, thick plastic and the collar itself might weigh half as much as he does...

 so, we improvised and attached it to one of his harnesses, and went for a walk. i will be working on a more convenient way to attach it

we need to work on this because he said the caribiner was a little awkward-yes, he said caribiner (it's never too early to teach them tier 2 and tier 3 vocabulary, folks)

 when we got back to the apt, bruno tried it on, and it kinda' fit...

only it feels like a neck brace.

after we finished playing with the collar, i decided i should probably start working on the boxtops...so i spent a good portion of my friday night and saturday cutting and counting boxtops. i was really hoping that having the fifth grade students in my champps group, they would be able to pull a bulk of the load. apparently not. there just isn't enough time to keep up with the demand, so i am still doing most of the work. hate. it. (but it's money for the school).

umm..cutest cabbage in the world? i think: YES.

i don't usually admire or fawn over fruits and vegetables. but c'mon, is this not just the cutest little cabbage you've ever laid eyes on? i showed it to the boys and bruno rolled his eyes and said (unimpressed), "sure. almost as cute as those rats with the mini teddy bears." chaco merely lifted an eyebrow and said, "no comment....but it's really not all that." i used that as a teachable moment to explain to him that once he said no comment, he forfeited his right to continue commenting.

i had to hide it in my office so no one would thieve it...you know what they say about teachers: beg, borrow and steal.

so, is it wrong that i kinda want to cryogenically freeze it? i mean, this little guy is so small, he could almost be adopted by a couple of brussel sprouts and fit right in...i wonder if i could draw up adoption papers on legal zoom just for kicks...(why do we say just for kicks? kicking isn't funny...i suppose it could be funny depending on the person doing the kicking, and the type of kick...karate, rockette-style, field goal...i can think of some people that might look funny doing any one of those).

yeah, so when i was making that salad last night, i couldn't cut this one open! the salad was a hit, so if you're interested, here's the link.

and i don't know why i just looked this up, but i was curious to see if there were any songs out there about cabbage...well, as a matter of fact, there is. but you may choose not to watch it unless it's really late and you are delirious...or you've had a glass of wine...you may not be as amused as i was-i may or may not have watched the entire minute and a half (a minute and a half of my life i will never get back)..

tomorrow a vast majority of our students and teachers will be going to the symphony. i LOVE the symphony (but let's just be honest, i love it more without being responsible for students!) so in honor of the symphony, i will be playing classical music whenever possible tomorrow!! (and when it's not playing, i will be thinking it).

keep practicing those kicks-
jules