ok, i have been 'home' since sunday, only it isn't really home, it is mom and dad's new place. i try to get over to see my parents as often as possible, because they are special to me
(is there really any other reason?). anyhoo. for some reason this time has been more difficult than usual. i love being with them, i love relaxing and having 0 responsibilities...so why so difficult?
i think unwinding is hard. i'd gotten used to the pace, and going, going, going and now not having anywhere to go or anyone to go with is a hard change of pace. but i know it's good to reboot.
i have enjoyed finding a spot to run, regardless of how slow my pace is, at least i'm doing it..i also did a lap around the little neighborhood on the other side of the road with ranger-the dog i named. i'm really growing quite fond of him! he accompanied me from mom and dad's and just kinda took off, staying about 25-50 ft from me. then a huge mastiff came running up behind us and got a little too close to ranger so i ran up to him because ranger is not an alpha, he's a sweetie...and i yelled at the other dog to go home and pointed him home until he obeyed...then the same thing happened a little further up with a boxer, who was a little less friendly, but he ended up listening and leaving as well. so we believe that ranger is a herding dog, and i was going to share a video of him, as proof, but alas, i think there were file-size problems...and now everything is slow, so i can't even upload the pics that i wanted to of just the dog. boo, rural missouri. boo.
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| so, this is the one i'd take home! smart one, he is! |
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and this is the park i've been frequenting while here in lebanon. it's cute. it's quaint. it works!
what else has been difficult? well, seeing friends doing things with family and friends and the close bonds and affection. i love it that so many of my friends have such tight-knit families- if i were being 100% honest, i long for that. my family has never been super affectionate; i am more than anyone in my immediate family, and i find that i desire and miss that-that's my HONDURAN side showing through. this is why it's at times like this that i really wish i had a sister. now this is nothing new. i've always wished i had a sister; thankfully i have sheryl and erika, who are like sisters-only sadly they are both thousands of miles away. boo. i miss them greatly and often (and i don't tell them nearly enough). seeing so many friends-classmates and schoolmates back in sps getting together and getting the opportunity to reunite-that's always difficult! (note to self, must set up a skype or hangout with sheryl tomorrow and erika and hellen soon for a coffee date! next best thing!) |
i re-read a
blog post from last year that added to the feeling of unsettled-ness...sorry, hopefully this isn't a bummer, there is good to come, hang tight. but the blog post was speaking to the love/hate relationship with Christmas. parts of it resonated with me, and i think the important thing that i need to keep bringing myself back to is that this season is not about me! nothing about Christmas is about me...i need to keep my focus and remember that! i love the last advent service that i went to-it was about joy--not only the joy of the remembrance that our Savior was born, but even a bigger JOY in looking to the future and the fact that he is coming again! that is where i need to focus.
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| i truly did enjoy the candle-light service and was very proud of my mom, who sang O Holy Night |
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| and then mom makes bearclaws (a favorite) |
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| and cranberry bread-hard to pass up... |
another difficulty is the food. but it's a yummy problem to have...mom loves to cook and bake more than i do, and it's all so delicious, that i have to really monitor myself to ensure that it's all in moderation! yikes.
that 'real struggle' that everyone's been talkin' about...yep...it's real.
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| so i've been trying to do well, but this isn't quite as good... |
and i may be at my wits end with my phone-it has been a little on the lame side the past few days...it may just need a new battery, i may just need a new phone. she's been good to me, but we may have to put her down gently.
so....one of the best things about this break to date was getting a text from one of my good friends this morning-it lifted my spirit, just to hear from a friend--i thrive on these things! it was a simple text, but that's all i needed, because it was thoughtful. she is starting a book that we spoke about over our orlando trip, and i am so excited for her to finish it! my hope is that it will be as good of a tool for her in understanding and meeting others' needs as it has been for me! i first read this book when trish, my mentor and friend, introduced it to me years ago- i remember seeing it on her shelf at the old house--good read! and because she sent that text this morning, it inspired me to want to sit and read over break...only i didn't bring some of the reads i wanted to get to-i may need to take another trip into springfield tomorrow to barnes and noble!
alrighty then...this is where i call it a night! blessings!
julie
